The Tony and Mike Show
Can't get enough of Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon? Missed the opportunity to witness the carnage live? Have no fear the transcript of this week's edition of The Show follows.
washingtonpost.com: Hi everyone and thanks for joining us. We know we're a little behind in posting the winners from last week's picks. We'll get to it. Just be patient. Let's get started!
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Welcome to the Chat House. Abandon hope all yee who enter here. Tony
I don't have a period opening, so I'll just say, whuz up! Mike
And I'll just say hi too.... Mary
Scott from Guam: Tony & Mike-
What is your favorite kind of pizza? Do you like extra cheese?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: I like cheese, sausage, green pepper. Tony
Sausage only. Real man Chicago pizza. Mike
What do mean sausage only? Tony
Sausage is the only topping. None of this only b-s topping Washington. Little G-town sissy pizza. Mike
You like Chicago pizza where they put a gun in the pie. So you can break out of jail. Tony
Exactly. Mike
Tysons Corner, VA: Hey Kornheiser. You're becoming a real snob, you know?
First we had to hear about your Armani suits last week in this forum. Then this week you put down pizza. Now I don't eat Domino's Pizza either, but I do enjoy a good NY Style pie. However, you couldn't be slummin' and say you prefer REAL pizza over Domino's... Instead you have to use the Palm as the punch line. Well, I'm sure Potomac, MD got a big hoot out of that, you big snob!!!!
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Thank you for listening to the radio. As I tell people there, who don't like my work. There are plenty of other stations on the dial and there are plenty of other Chat Houses that would be happy to have such an elegant man as you. Tony
I can't write what he really wants to say. But, be aware, I'm not in other Chat Houses. Mary
Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds: If The Post asks you to review a restaurant in town at their expense, which one do you each go to and how many people get to come along?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: First of all, I would take 7 other people b/c to me the food is less important even at a great restaurant than the company. I would rather eat at an average restaurant surrounded by good yackers than a great restaurant alone. The one place in DC that I hear is great, that I've never been too...is Kincaids. I've never been to it. Tony
Cafe Milano. 7 people. Preferably on a Friday night after 8 pm..... oh I forgot, I'm married. Mike
I've been there. Tony
So have I. Mary
Newark, DE: How come the Washington Post can't cover America's fastest growing sport, NASCAR? The NASCAR Winston Cup Series is more popular than Wilbon's beloved basketball, baseball, hockey, etc., yet the Post doesn't cover it. Why? And don't give me this racist crap, Wilbon, because the only people out there that believe NASCAR racing is racist are the ones that haven't been to a race and seen the diverse fan base, so forget that sorry excuse. Thanks!
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: I was going to say something nice to this guy, but he's such an a-hole, that he doesn't deserve it. Auto racing in general ought to be covered A LOT more than we cover it. But, sports editors in this country overwhelming are guys who covered b-ball, football and boxing as reporters. And, auto racing was not on their radar. It should be. Mike
I agree that it should be covered more. But, not by me. I don't know anything about it and I don't have a camper. Tony
Silver Spring, Md: Tony;
Please answer the following Beatles questions as I am too young to have been around during their heyday. What the hell is the song "Little Piggies" about and-or what were they smoking when it was written.
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: I'm so old, I don't remember the song. It was probably on the White Album and whatever they were smoking at the time, so was I. Tony
Frederick, MD: Tony: Please explain all the hoopla over the Blair Witch Project. I saw it and thought it was a slow, non-scary movie. To me, it was just a couple of kids cussing and yelling at each other while they got lost in the woods. Thanks.
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: To me, this is the American dream. A few people had an idea and borrowed about $150,000 and now, they have hundreds of millions of dollars. I don't like scary movies so I'm not going to see it, but kids LOVED it, LOVED IT and saw it, 4 and 5 times. Tony
Olney, Maryland: Hi guys. Tony, since I know you're a big fan, who do you like in the big bass tournament Sunday on the FOX network?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: I like Mike Bass to win and I like Tim Salmon to place and I like
No other fish people? Mike
I like Kendall Gill to show. -- AND if you're watching this thing, I like YOU in a tank. Tony
laughter in the house......
Blacksburg, Va.: Yo guys! It looks like the Bulls are off to a fast start with Toni Kukoc shooting a huge 1 for 14 against the Knicks! What do you think the Bulls need to do this season to have any hope of a respectable record?
Hokies Rule!!!!!!!
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: The Bulls need to lose every game so they can get in the lottery and win it again to pick first. Not that there is anybody worth getting excited about coming out. They need to hope that Tim Duncan or Grant Hill is just dying to live in Chicago and reap the rewards that come to a star in the 2nd largest market in the America and the BEST sports town in the country. Mike
They won the lottery last year and picked Elton Brand who is a nice player and only about 15 light years behind Lamar Odom. So, just getting in the lottery is meaningless. I believe Jerry Krause has a plan to get back into the playoffs by 2008. And, I'm w/him. Tony
This comes from a man who has been kissing up to Crumbs Krause for 10 years. He's the ONLY guy on the planet who thinks HE, not M Jordan, was responsible for 6 championships. Tony has let him slide on this for a decade. Mike
Oh. Those 7 other people I would take to dinner.... Wilbon is NOT one of them. Tony
Am I? Mary
Raljon, VA: There is so much talk about the white-black factor in getting a cab. It made me imagine what would happen if we put both of you on the street trying to hail a cab. Can we put you guys out on the street for a little experiment of our own?
I don't care if you can get a cab, I want to see which of you gets run down first and who does it. Will a Caps fan that thinks Kornheiser is a jinx get Tony first? Or will it be a native Washingtonian who thinks Wilbon should move is Chicago-loving, Michael Jordan-Butt Kissing rear to Oak Lawn, Illinois?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Wilbon and I often get cabs together and we are regularly picked up by Asian cab drivers. I believe that he would be run down first because he presents a slightly larger target. Tony
Mclean, VA: Which do you think are the best sports towns in the country? And where would you rank DC area?
-BTW, what's up with the new Caps radio ads? They stink!-
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: We were just fighting about this before the Chat House started.....
My ranking would be: Chicago-1, Boston-2, Philly-3, Detroit-4, NY-5..... top 5.. .and DC would not be in the top 15. Mike
DC is the worst sports town in the United States of America. The problem is not just bad teams and the lack of baseball, but the transient nature of the populace. The best sports towns in order are: Philly, Detroit, Chicago, Chicago, Wilbon's side of Chicago and probably Chicago. Tony
Yorktown, Va.: Which is the greatest golf movie, Caddy Shack or Tin Cup?
Which is the worst golf movie, Happy Gilmore or Caddy Shack II?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Caddy Shack is CLEARLY the greatest golf movie. Tony
San Luis Obispo, CA: I'm golfing for the first time in 5 years, any suggestions?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Yeah, I'm new to this so the suggestions are real clear in my mind starting with this: take lessons! Frequently! And play every chance possible. Mike
Bring plenty of balls and if the cart girl is really cute forget the golf and stick with the cart girl. Tony
Falls Church, VA: Golf question: Does the golf cart make it up the hills w-Wilbon's fat butt in it?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: laughter....
It depends if your fat head is in it also.... Mike
College Park: Who do you guys think is more of a jerk, 12 year old Ryan Leaf, or Albert Belle?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: That's a good question.... Albert Belle because he was no star at an early age. He's a pretty smart guy. He's very well spoken and he's had a long time to grow out of this. Ryan Leaf clearly has been a jack ass from 12. And his father seems to be a big part of the problem. But, at least he's got time to turn this around. Mike
Ryan Leaf is a classic JERK. Albert Belle seems to have a dangerous mean streak. Tony
Herndon, VA: First, it's an honor and a privilege.....
What do you guys think of all the extra "entertainment" at Caps and Boulez games -and at most other pro sports venues for that matter-. Do we really need all of that way too loud canned music? Do we really need blimps flying around dropping coupons?
That all takes away from the game. Give me a college game with just a band, some cheerleaders, and a chance to chill during a timeout.
Tk, MW...I'll hang up and listen. Thanks.
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: I went to a game in Boston Gardens just before it closed and all that happened during time outs was that they played organ music and rolled a rack of b-balls to the foul line. That was it! And I LOVED it! But, in most markets where everybody is a Johnny come lately, and they don't come often, they appear to want all this stupid music and tumblers at 1/2 time and dot races etc..... Even I, who think of myself as a purist, I've grown to like some of it. That's sick. Mike
Who is he kidding???????
For years.... all Wilbon talked about was how exciting it was in Chicago Stadium because of this announcer Ray Clay-Tony
I hate Ray Clay! Mike
And because of the dot races... Tony
The dot races are happening.Mike
And this crap that they did and the Boulez didnt' do! The fact is it doesn't matter what you have other than the game if the team is GOOD. If, the team is good, the dot races are good or they don't matter and if the team is bad, NOTHING CAN save it! Tony
Okay, then explain to me Mr. Know it all, why people enjoy coming to the Mystics games so much and why the entertainment value is so much higher than other places and the Mystics can't win a game? Mike
Because there's always a chance someone will take off her top.Tony
Annapolis, MD: If you two could sit down in a bar and have a beer with any influential person from this century, who would it be? Also, what kind of beer would you drink?
Wilbon would probably order a martini, light beer, or some red wine.
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: This century... God...... who would it be.... Tony
I know what my answer is. I would sit down with the last living slave and just listen. And, I don't drink beer so it would be hot chocolate. Mike
Okay. That's more beer for me. I drink Corona
With a lime? Mary
Yeah. With a lime is okay. Thanks Mary. I would try to sit down with Freud and ask him about this thing I've got for washing my hands. Tony
Arlington, Va.: Mike, since you are a benevolent pimp, have you ever considered becoming an agent a la Ralph Wiley?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: laughter in The House.........
No, I don't want to have to do anything with representing anybody.....In the fairness of accuracy, I don't think that Ralph ever represented anyone, I think he put together groups who then represented athletes. But, no, it's safe to say that is one thing I will NEVER, EVER EVER DO
Millersville, MD: Tony and Mike: I think I can speak for all members of the Chat House. We voted to add Mary's picture.
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Well, you've done the right thing. She has them in evening gown and swimsuit. What do you prefer? Tony
I think we should have a contest. People should name the celebrity they think you look like and the closest person gets a date with a chaperone. But, I get a cut.Mike
We also want to know: Would you people buy T-shirts (I'm in the Chat House with Tony and Mike) and stickers (pimp daddy) from us? Tony
Alexandria, Va.: hello all:
Why won't D.C. EVER get a baseball team? Also, please explain the commissioner's comment on expansion teams -paraphrasing, here-; 'because it will dilute the league' or something like that?
I do not understand. Who died and made him god?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: We'll never get a b-ball team...
as Boz lives... --Tony
As long as people here, and that's fans and media bosses, continue to treat the O's as our own team. And, Bud Selig has NO intention whatsoever, to challenge Angelos or to do ANYTHING to faciliate a team coming to DC. Anything contrary to that is a lie. Mike
This is such CRAP from Wilbon. The guy grows up in the Midwest and is always saying that people in the East are such babies-.....Tony
No, not in the East. Just here. They need pacifers.-Mike
Because they won't drive long distances to go to games like they do in the Midwest. So, now, people drive 45 minutes to B'more and Wilbon gets totally bent out of shape! Tony
STOP SUCKING UP to other people's teams. Mike
Right, because only you suck up to our teams. You've made it an art form.-Tony
I've got one thing to say to that... Mike
I know what he's going to say... Tony
Bandwagon, Bandwagon, Bandwagon. Boy, what an art form. Mike
Alexandria VA: What has to happen for the bandwagon to come out, and is there enough room in the back for me and Mary?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: There's a couch in the back for you and Mary... Tony
I don't think so. Mary
And, it will come out, when Wilbon says it ought to. Tony
Colesville, Md.: Ted Leonsis has given all the Capitals email addresses and laptops to communicate with their fans. Some like Adams Oates, Ron Wilson and Peter Bondra are actively doing so. What are your thoughts on this?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: I would like to know how many of the Caps are using their laptops to access naked women on the Net? Tony
I would like to know if any of the Caps can use their laptops to score some goals? Mike
Bethesda, Md.: Tony,
Why do you always stick up for a choking dog like Gary Williams?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Oh.. .speaking of sucking up to the home team... Mike
Scott, before I deal w/the Gary question, let me point out how many columns Wilbon has written begging Maryland players to stay in school so he can watch them and drool at their performances....
Nice diversionary tactic. Mike
Now, the truth is Gary Williams is my friend and I shouldn't have friends who I write about. I don't think he's a choking dog. Overall, I think he's done a terrific job at Maryland under adverse circumstances when he came in. But, I would be lying, if I didn't say that last year, against St. John's in particular, was miserable and embarrassing to everybody on that team, including Gary. Tony
In the interest of sucking up to Gary, who I also like far too much for my own good, if he hadn't come to College Park in the wake of Len Bias, MD b-ball could be Robert Morris by now. -Mike
Thank God it's not Stanley Morris. Tony
Alexandria, VA: Tony and Mike:
Please name greatest athlete, philosopher, politician and rock band of the 20th Century?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Athlete: Babe Ruth
Philosopher: Ghandi
Politician: Churchill
Band: Beatles
Tony
Athlete: Ali
Philosopher: Mud Bone
Politician: Richard J. Daley
Band: I don't do rock. Brothers don't do rock.
Best Band: Earth, Wind and Fire.
Mike
Miami, FL: Any predictions on the DC United Columbus match on Sunday? or has Tony gone back to dissing soccer again?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Like Mr. T., I predict PAIN! Tony
I already have a ticket... Mike
What for speeding on your way to the game? Tony
For MLS Bowl in Foxborough where United will be playing in 3 weeks. Mike
Please enjoy yourself and drive home safely. Tony
Rockville: Any guesses on what we can expect from Mike Hargrove's hiring next year? Is the talent there? Can he turn the team around like Davey Johnson did?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Yes, the talent is there. They are one good relief pitcher away from contending for a wild card. Hargrove is a GOOD to VERY GOOD professional manager. Tony
The talent is over-rated and it's the O's. Who gives a flying crap??? Mike
laughter in the house......
Arlington, VA: Ex-athletes become commentators all the time. How come now ex-athletes become sportswriters?
PS: Can I work for you guys?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Because most athletes are TOO stupid to know how to write. Tony
That's dumb. Steve Wyche, who covers the Wizards for this newspaper, was a big time college football player at Missouri. Jean Fugett, who wrote for this paper in the Metro section, played for the Redskins. I know two beat writers who played professional football and then wrote. Mike
Who? Tony
Butch Woolfolk who played for Michigan and then the Oilers, I believe and then covered pro-football as a print journalist. The problem is you don't know who they are because it's a byline and not a face. Mike
No, the Chat House is full. No jobs. Mary
College Park, MD: Wilbon: Could your anger towards the O's be a result of a rough childhood growing up as a Cubs fan?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: YES! Mike
Durham, NC: Hey guys
Tony, I saw you at a book signing a while back for Pumping Irony and when I told you I wanted to be a sportswriter when I grow up -I was in high school-, you told me not to be. Well, I ignored your advice and now write about sports for the Duke newspaper, and I hope to someday take over your job. What advice would you have for an aspiring sportswriter? Mike, since I will mostly likely ignore Tony again, would advice would you give?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: My advice now is slightly different from my advice then. Now, you want my job. Now, I want you to come down with scarlet fever. -Tony
laughter in the house.....
Mike can't answer. He's laughing too much. Mary
I'll give you my job if he can restore Corey Maggette's eligibility this season at Duke. Mike
New York, NY: Mike: What is your take on the NFL threatening to fine Marshall Faulk if he wears number 34 in a tribute to Walter Payton?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: I would take the fine and Marshall Faulk would shoot to the stars in my estimation of him as a person. It would be a GREAT tribute. I hope he does it. Mike
I can't imagine why the league would fine Faulk for wearing #34. I can't imagine it.... Tony
FaxLax, Va.: Is testing for marijuana in the NBA laughable, or is it for real?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: No. The testing isn't laughable. That's how they see if you're smoking grass. The test is how much you laugh.... Tony
Matt H. in Old Town: Waddaya mean "brothers don't do rock" ??
"Wilbon, I'd like you to meet Hendrix. Hendrix, meet Mr. Wilbon. Now please enlighten him."
And wasn't that you I saw at the last Prince concert at MCI Center ?!? He's only one of the greatest guitarists of our generation. Notwithstanding how you perceive his "bangs".
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: It would be tough for me to meet him. He's dead. Mike
This is an outrage! Wilbon at a Prince concert! This is a scandal!! Tony
Prince is R & B. Mike
Prince is not a rocker. Thank you. You can take elements of all sorts of music you appreciate. But, Prince is 10 percent rock, 90 percent R & B.
What is this a Tropicana ad for you or something?? 10 percent, 90 percent fruit juice? Tony
Hendrix played to 99 percent white audiences... which is COOL. Teena Marie is white and she is played to 99 percent black audiences. It doesn't matter. Mike
Mace is black and he plays to 99 percent of my kid all the TIME! And the last time I looked I was white. Tony
But Prince is rock and roll. As it is, in the late 90's. The next thing we'll see from Wilbon is 2 up front at a Barbra Streisand concert! Tony
Been there. Done that. Seen Babs in 2 cities, but this Prince thing is interesting coming from Tony. Mike
I like Prince.... Tony
It's just case of THE MAN TRYING TO STEAL SOME OF THE BROTHAS' CULTURE. Mike
Greenbelt, Md: Which of the new Wizards players do you like and which of the ones traded to the Magic would you guys have preferred to stay
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: I like Ike. I like the kid. Rip Hamilton. I wish Ben Wallace could have stayed, but then they wouldn't have Ike. Mike
Melbourne, FL: I'm still spinning from the loss of Walter Payton. Now, some who are unable to let him rest are spinning up rumors about his health condition that are simply beneath description. Please help dispel these lies. He was too great a player and person to be tarnished in such a cowardly manner!
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: We heard a physician state unequivocally that Payton died of cancer of the bile duct. His family has acknowledged as much and Walter told many people about it over the last 4 months. There's no mystery as to the cause of his death. Mike
Washington, D.C.: I'm surprised the P.C. Police have not cited you for referring to yourselves as pimps, and Mary as, well.... Any chance the Post will defend you two in the event of a harassment suit?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Are you a EEOC lawyer? If so, I never said that pimp thing. Mike
He's right. He never said it. But, only if you're a lawyer. Mary
Alexandria, Va.: Okay, I hate to be cynical but... a lot this week has been said about Walter Payton being the greatest running back of all time - but don't they always say this when a legend dies? 'Greatest' is a matter of opinion except for maybe Ali in boxing and Pele in soccer. Don't you guys think that too many in the media throw the term 'greatest' around a little too much -because what if Jim Brown and Walter Payton would have died on the same day - then who would have been called greatest-?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: You raise a good point. But, remember, "the media", is made up of thousands of people. Some think Payton was the greatest, some don't. I haven't seen many accounts addressing whether he was the GREATEST. Most of what I've read, and what I wrote, dealt w/how great he was as a player and his contributions to the culture of sports as a person. The point you raise is good, however, b/c the word "great" IS thrown around too much and applied in cases where it shouldn't be. Mike
Tempe, AZ: Tony and Mike
I have been reading your work for years in DC. The move out West would have been a lot more difficult without the Internet and now I can read without getting my hands dirty. My question is will the O's finally get "over the hump" with Hargrove or will the slide continue also what are their chances of scoring A-Rod or Griffey Jr.
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Angelos has certainly shown he will spend any amount of money. So, if he has decided that he wants Griffey, I would suspect, he'll move heaven and earth, to try and get him. But, as we see all the time w/baseball, having a couple of superstars on your roster can mean nothing. If it did, Seattle would have won something by now. I don't expect the O's to do much of anything. They have great pieces, but they're just pieces which don't seem to fit particularly well. Mike
Charlottesville, Va. : Question for both: Thanks for what you guys wrote about W. Payton and P. Stuart. It showed sympathy, respect and love. A question of total conjecture: do you think Barry Sanders knew W.P. was going to die and sat out this year out of respect for W.P.?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: As absurd as that notion might have been 3 months ago, we have to wonder about it now, at least a tiny bit. I know Sanders knew Payton, but I don't know that Walter would have taken Barry into his confidence in his waning days. Mike
North Potomac, MD: An observation for comment or the delete file -don't do it to me Mary!-
One of the most insulting things I can recall in all sports is Ditka not giving the ball to Walter Payton in the Super Bowl and instead giving it to the Fridge at the goal line. No one deserved a touchdown in the big game more than Payton and deserved it less than the Fridge. Maybe the Bears were cocky enough to think the Super Bowl was theirs for the taking for years to come. Just ask Earnest Byner about how it felt for him to have his number called in the Super Bowl for the Skins by Joe Gibbs, after what happened with the Browns. In all of the highlights we have seen on Payton in the past week, I can recall few, if any, being from the Super Bowl, which should have been his crowning achievement. I don't expect Mike to agree, but Tony...
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: That's a GREAT issue. You have to first understand that Ditka literally idolized Payton. In the confusion on the sideline, w/the Bears having scored SO many points, I have had Ditka tell me (obviously in distress), years later that he didn't actually realize that Payton had not scored. Also, keep in mind that Ditka did not call the offensive plays. By the time, he could object to Fridge's number being called, the big man was probably already taking a hand off. I know for a fact it did bother Walter. As, great a moment as it was in my life for my childhood team to win the Super Bowl, it bothered me for a long time. Ditka is a lot of things. And, he is sometimes mean spirited. But, not in a million years would he have done ANYTHING remotely mean to Payton. He loved him. Mike
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Tony and Mike Picks for Week Nine:
Okay. We've given you bonus minutes..... so we're signing off now.
Our records: We're both 24-16.
Mike:
Denver at San Diego: San Diego has been so bad…. They're due: San Diego
Kansas City at Indianapolis: Indianapolis
St. Louis at Detroit: Detroit… Bobby Ross knows what he's doing.
Tennessee at Miami: Miami. It has become Jimmy Johnson's team, not Dan Marino's team and that's a good thing for the Dolphins.
Buffalo at Washington: Redskins haven't beaten a big-time quarterback all season. But, Buffalo is struggling so Redskins in a nailbiter.
Tony:
Denver at San Diego: I think San Diego rebounds, I pick San Diego
Kansas City at Indianapolis: Indianapolis
St. Louis at Detroit: Detroit
Tennessee at Miami: TN is good, I'll take 'em.
Buffalo at Washington: That's a scary game. Very scary. VERY. Washington
But most of all, I wish you love. Tony
Rock on!!! Mike
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